Not content with simply being superior to every other nation, France selflessly ditched its ‘nombrilisme’ at the start of this century in order to re-launch itself as a self-help guru to the rest of the pitifully bungling world.You can only sit there so long quietly watching other people mess up before it starts to grate.I’m not sure where all the excitement stems from but maybe, just maybe there’s a grain of truth here somewhere.And even though I’m writing this from the perspective of someone who’s lived in France for the past 3 years - and also from the point of view of being married to one of these fascinating creatures, I promise I won’t be too biased, ok?It has been exclusively cordoned off for French women, who long ago realized that sharing their diet and style tips or handing over the number of their (excellent) dermatologist - even to their best friends - is a fool’s game known as “cosmetic kamikaze” amongst the French non-sisterhood.It’s every woman for themselves in this brittle, competitive land.The women are comfortable in their bodies, which automatically makes them sexier. They’re confident and know how to carry themselves and unlike some other cultures, there’s more of a relaxed feel about their hair and makeup.
So when Carla Bruni insists she “eats a plate of pasta a day” do bear in mind that it is most likely to be premium quality codswallop. Alongside the medical paraphernalia of every small time hypochondriac (at any given time she will have paracetamol, an antihistamine, rubbing alcohol, throat pastilles and cystitis antibiotics somewhere in her Jerome Dreyfuss handbag), the French woman relies on a plethora of pills to cure every imaginary ailment from “heavy legs” and “stomach bloat” to “orange peel thighs” – all of which are basically no more than gut flora. Without the support of the country’s neuroses-fuelling large pharmaceutical companies, they would cease to function entirely.
And if you will persist in whittling away that Pain au Chocolat on your hamster wheel, at least have the good grace to parade around the changing rooms in matching Princess Tam Tam lingerie afterwards. Never mind rearing the perfect child, French women have perfected the art of rearing the perfect boyfriend/husband.
When one Parisian girlfriend caught her husband answering a work text at the dinner table, she threw his i Phone out of their fourth floor apartment window onto the Boulevard Saint Michel.
Myth number 3: They have a good sense of smell I read somewhere that in terms of perfume, the French are skilled like no other in determining what is what. One thing’s for sure…as far as aftershave, the men (and women) either do too much or nothing at all. Most artificial perfume/aftershave is a chemical nightmare, but that’s another article.
Myth number 4: They can all cook I’ve met men here who basically exist on a diet of BBQ meat and fries. Mom did the cooking and just because most of their mom’s are sensational cooks doesn’t mean they are.