You won’t feel the “my life is coming to an end” type of pain. Even if there are people around, you can still be alone.
Aren’t those situations of you being alone completely unlikely though? In fact, outside of very involved relationships, you are alone most of the time.
You think about having kids, raising a family, sharing lots of romantic adventures together. That will only happen IF he/she likes you, IF you continue to like him/her, IF you decide to have a baby, etc. This does NOT mean that you should maintain relationships with other people “in case you broke up”. I’m talking about what you would do if you were completely alone.
There are just so many things that can change that particular possibility. All your planning has been focused on the two of you being together, so when the unexpected happens, you have no alternate plan! Say there were no people in the world, what would you do?
When you like a person, you constantly think about them.
You imagine yourself in a fantasy, where you go places and do things together. He/she is romantic, loving, kind, and does exactly what you want when you want it.
Are you staying up all night wondering if he/she feels the same way you do? Pretty much everyone has been in this situation at one time or another.
Here’s why: The root of all pain like this comes from your imagination and an uncertainty about what to do.
So, to start off, try to not imagine what it’d be like, or how good it would be.The only problem is, this person doesn’t actually exist.He/she is a projection of your idealized version of the person you like.You tried a particular trade and it didn’t work out.Now you’re left with what you started with, but with more experience.It would also explain why you would feel very hurt and angry when your partner leaves, since he/she took away all that stuff you were getting.On the other hand, if you had a strong identity outside of the relationship, then you would simply return to the happy state you were in before you made the trades.Whenever you are focusing on yourself and don’t notice other people, it’s the same as if you were alone.Knowing what you’d do in this situation really helps you out in figuring out what you want.That is the key to a healthy relationship actually, since even in a relationship, you’ll be alone some portion of the time.A relationship is just an extension of the economic model.