Whenever I'd get close she'd push me away and go to another guy.
When I finally got tired of being strung along and told her I didn't want to do this any longer she told me she loved me and asked to be in an official relationship, where she kept up her bad behavior.
She claims the best times with me were when there wasn't any pressure to be more than friends (yet now she thinks she can handle a romantic relationship with me), and I'd agree that was when she was her least disordered self. It's like, if she didn't consider all she did as cheating, then she'd probably think the same behavior was okay and justified if I gave her another chance. They are like monkeys, they don't let go of the branch until they have a hold of another.
Mine would break up with me then a few days later be dating someone else but keeping me along by a string. I think the more important question to answer is whether or not you thought it was cheating.
Of my friends who entered into relationships in the past year, every single one of them first entered a period of exclusivity before even remotely venturing into "boyfriend/girlfriend" territory.
It is now expected that a couple will first hookup for a significant -- albeit unsubstantial -- period of time, only to then qualify their pseudo relationship with vague promises of monogamy.
It was very confusing as to what the relationship was.
Sounds like a girlfriend to me." "It is an unspoken understanding," he said, "In agreeing to be exclusive, we're basically saying, 'I like you and want to see if this continues to be good, so I won't do anything with anyone else that could mess this up, but officially calling you is a little too much at this point.'" Ok, so...This “official” status was your brain’s way of putting your foot down and demanding respect- but it was an idea that only you had, not her.Borderlines do not share firm boundaries- they rebel against them.You know that leaving is the healthiest thing you can do, yet your attachment is undeniable.You feel trapped by your desires to rekindle a relationship even though you know it isn't healthy - and may not even be available to you.The fallout (or perhaps, benefit) from this aversion to labels remains to be seen., Beagle Girl, bluek9, brave Sun, Cat Familiar, Cry Wolf, Dog Man75, Enabler, Feeling Better, formflier, Insom, isilme, Learning2Thrive, Merlot, Mustbeabetterway, Roland Of Eld, Shawnlam, spero, Wiley Coyote, zachira Breaking up with Someone Suffering with BPD traits...It's hardly news that conventional dating norms have gone out the window and, with them, so too have traditional dating labels."Boyfriend" and "girlfriend" seem to share the same fate as the now arcane "going steady." People are still dating -- sure -- but recently, would-be couples less readily refer to one another as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," opting instead for basic , sans label.Unlike the ambiguous term "hooking up," which can very well be used to reference everything from a three-second makeout session to full-blown sex, the "boyfriend/girlfriend" label universally implies exclusivity and commitment. It's a little more than just hooking up, but not exactly full-blown dating. Or perhaps, keep your options open without ever letting things with someone else accelerate beyond flirtatious conversation? Apart from some emotional anguish, there's really not much involved in terms of post-breakup fallout.With absolutely no parameters beyond "don't hookup with anyone else," how do those in exclusive arrangements know what to expect from their... It's funny to think that such innocent terms as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend," that floated so effortlessly around the halls of high schools, now imply some sort of deep, long-lasting, sticky commitment of the utmost seriousness.